Sometimes You Don't Want to Forgive.

I have written about forgiveness and I am the first to say you should forgive. I have done it so much, but recent events have made me wonder If I am wrong. Maybe some people don’t deserve to be forgiven.

I sit here typing and my heart feels worn, torn, shredded and tears have been let loose not in buckets, but in bath tubs. If my tears were rain, they would be called raining dogs and cats. The pain the hurt has me saying, enough is enough. I am through with forgiving and I am through with second, third even fifth chances. No more!

Worse of all is that I am not only upset about how I was hurt, but also my wife and kids. That has made things worse. I can deal with myself, but it is compounded because I have no way of protecting them from the pain. All of this because of a couples divorce. I hate it more because I was not told somethings and now I do not know who to believe.

I do know how to react to this and that is to cut people out of my life. I don’t have to let them back into my life. I can and will cut them out. This goes for family and or friends. I won’t be lied to, and believe me I knew when I was told a lie. Don’t think I am stupid to believe everything a person tells me, sometimes I let the rope out to see how far they go till you hang themselves.

I know I am to forgive, but I just don’t want to. So, if you are reading this. Pray that I can find the peace I need to forgive.